There's Another Woman ......

There have been other women in my husband's life before. His mom. Our two daughters. The women our sons married. But this one is entirely different. Unforeseen. Recent. One who came without warning and whose presence my heart met with ambivalence and fear. 

Zoe. That's her name. 

She's been part of our lives for almost a month now. And I've learned to accept her. Actually, she is all her name says she is ... Zoe means "life," and she is just that to Wayne and me and our relationship. 

Before you call me crazy, let me explain ...

We had a scare in early September, you see. Had the outcome been different, I could be without my husband now. And I know there are many out there who have had to face this loss in their lives, so I am not making light of this reality or taking our own near-brush lightly. No, not lightly at all. 

On September 3rd, Wayne had stroke. It happened in the very early morning as he was waking, rather than when he was driving to work on the 24-mile-long Causeway Bridge, which could have caused a horrific accident and taken many lives, including his own. By God's grace, I recognized what was happening, and we got him to the hospital. 

Doctors aren't sure what happened or why. He didn't have the normal precursors or warnings. So far, tests and labs have proven inconclusive as the the "why" of the event; all the tests merely confirm that he did indeed have a stroke. 

One of the tests that doctors ordered done was a sleep study. This has been the only test so far that has had a positive result: Wayne does indeed have severe sleep apnea, also known as obstructive sleep apnea (OSA). He actually stops breathing over 30 -50 times an hour while sleeping. I knew he had some serious snoring issues, but....

That's when we learned that we would have a third presence in our bedroom at night, a CPAP machine. It was hard for me to get used to the idea of Wayne sleeping hooked up to a machine which makes him resemble an elephant. The first time he donned the mask, our dog Sugar had no idea what to make of it. She just stared at him, like he'd grown another head ... well, a longer nose, at least. 

I'd heard many horror stories of how difficult sleeping with these machines can be. Noisy. Mask issues. Frustration that could be so bad that it caused the OSA sufferer to choose to take his or her chances without it, rather than to endure the machine. 

And I made up plenty more of my own: 

How will we sleep comfortably with him attached to a tube? 

Will we ever be able to snuggle again? 

What if he can't adjust to it? 

What if he can?

Will life ever seem normal again?

A good friend of ours counseled us, before we even got the machine, to name it, for we would need to view it as a friend. 

That's when Zoe was born.

I am happy to report that there is life after an OSA diagnosis, after the addition of a CPAP machine to your life. In fact, life is really good. That man hasn't snored one single time since Zoe arrived on the scene. We can actually sleep in the same bed, in the same room, in the same house! Wayne isn't covered with bruises from where I've had to elbow him all night long to hush the grizzly! And we have a little peace of mind; we may not know why he had the initial stroke, but we do know that his brain is no longer oxygen-deprived during sleep. 

So I just want to be a beacon of hope and a word of encouragement to anyone facing similar life changes. Life is an adventure! Embrace it!

The Keurig is not Foolproof!

I felt a lot like the Time to Make the Donuts man from the old Dunkin Donuts commercial when I woke up this morning. On top of the week-long trip (a ten-to-twelve-hour drive each way) my daughter and I just made to Texas, from which we returned last Wednesday, hubby and I made our own turn-around trip to Texas this past weekend. We returned home just last night. On both occasions, I made the several-hour drive, returning home in the evening and going to work the very next morning.

While in Texas the second time, I visited an H.E.B. grocery store and picked up some of my favorite coffee, a treat, and the thought of a hot cup helped propel me from the warmth of my bed to prepare to leave for work.

I popped the K-Cup into my Keurig and pushed the button. While I fed the dogs, I inhaled deeply the aroma of H.E.B. Café Ole's Texas Pecan. It smelled heavenly.

On groggy autopilot, I finished with the dogs and reached into the cabinet for my coffee mug.

WAIT!

I already smell the fresh brewed coffee.

I am holding a cold, empty mug in my hand.

Where is my coffee?

Are you kidding me?

In my sleepy stupor, I had just popped that handy little cup into my foolproof one-cup coffee maker, my personal coffee valet. After the kids all married and left home, hubby purchased me a Keurig, because I was the sole remaining coffee drinker in the house, and making a whole pot of brew for one or two cups each morning was just too much trouble. I would either get the coffee too strong or too weak ... or full of grounds because the filter folded over on the tiny amount of coffee I had to use for just one person.

I've enjoyed my Keurig immensely. I want one cup of coffee; I use one K-cup. My perfectly right-strength coffee fills my cup, and I have to throw nothing away. What's not to like? Foolproof!

Until today.

Today, I proved that the Keurig is not fool proof. Because in my groggy state, I forgot the coffee mug. I had the wonderful aroma, but no coffee. The coffee had drained into the overflow reservoir, leaving me to feel quite foolish, standing there with my empty cup trying to figure out where my coffee was.  

I had to giggle. I knew I was tired, but....

As I drank my coffee, the second cup I brewed and actually put in a mug this time, I reflected on the incident. In addition to being comical, there was a spiritual lesson to be had here. Several lessons, in fact.

Scripture is filled with references to our being "vessels". And in those references we are vessels that are filled, being filled, filled to overflowing.... We are earthen vessels filled with the treasure of the gospel (2 Corinthians 4:6&7). We are filled with the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:19). We can be filled with the knowledge of God's will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding (Colossians 1:9). And these are just a few ways our vessels can be filled. But there is one fact we cannot ignore: if we do not bring our vessel to God, if we do not submit our hearts, our minds, our souls, to the One who created us, to the One who sits at the right hand of the Father and intercedes for us (Hebrews 7:24-25), we will not be filled. Our treasure, our fullness of God, our knowledge of God's will, our wisdom, our understanding -- all that the Father longs to fill us with will be lost. It will pour into the overflow, rather than into our lives to enrich us and bear fruit.

So we must be diligent to present our cup to Him each day, that He may pour into us all that He would have us to pour out to others. If we neglect to position our cup to receive from Him, we will be the empty mug, trying to figure out where our joy is ... trying to figure out what our purpose is ... trying to figure out why God feels so far away.

It's time. Time to smell the coffee. And time to fill the cup!

May you be blessed. May you be filled. May you be His.

Meet and Greet!

Abbie posted this on her blog (CLICK HERE) and it was such a good idea, I had to share!

I met Abbie on Facebook and we've become friends and prayer partners. 

Social media has its pros and cons, and it's nice to be able to find like-minded friends and support. 

Feel free to leave a link to your own blog and repost. 

God bless,

Cheri